Bojacob's Den

*tap tap*

Dum de-dum de-dum de-dum de-dum de-dum de-dum de-dum

We walked around the Avenues
Lookin' around for a bunch of shoes
'till he finally broke the news
Of great International Cliniiiiiiic

I explained my hate for needles
He said he hated the Beatles
But in his senseless drivels
He said "International Cliniiiiiiic"

He tells me of this new syringe
Hearing the word just makes me cringe
But he says that it won't really twinge
All in International Cliniiiiic

Fix my teeth without blood-shed
We raised our arms like baked pot heads
"But how?"  I said.  "Because, " he said
[Both]
It's the great International Cliniiiiiic!

[Background music continues:  dum-de-dum]

Me:  You're telling me I can get my teeth all done without all the damn needle pain?

Abdul:  That's right!  The anesthesia injection doesn't really hurt at all.

Me:  You've gotta be kidding.  That would fix all my problems entirely!

Abdul:  It's like a little beeping machine they use that pumps juice for 2 minutes or something.

Me:  Your knowledge of the subject is astounding!

Abdul:  It's the International Clinic man!

Me:  Then that's it.  That's where I'm going.  And that's where all my tooth problems will go!

[All the people in the Avenues raise arms]
He's going to the International Cliniiiiiiiic!

dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de

One geek night I got a fright
During my move of a gigabyte
Worrying that my tooth will bite
Time for International Cliniiiiiiiic

I drove my car to Salmeya
Dodging trucks and a blue Honda
Until I saw a cool hula
[Building dancing and singing]
"Me great International Cliniiiiic!"

I walked inside, my lips went dry
My heart just stopped I thought I'd die
But they looked at me with great deep pride
[Receptionists throwing confetti and singing]
"Here's the International Cliniiiiiiiic!"

The nurse showed up and showed me in
The doc sat up and hid his grin
He sat me down and held a pin
Chair of International Cliniiiiiiic!

"Doc, oh doc" I said weakly
"Anesthetics are just beastly,
could you do the machine thingy?"
Confusion in International Cliniiiiiiiiic

He got the machine but looked confused
I sat back and prepared for abuse

[Music stops]
Dentist:  Um, well, ok.

[Music starts again]
Said the doc of the International Cliniiiiiiiic!

The needle went in but not too far
The machine pumped juice but not too hard
The pain was there but no crowbar
Machine of the International Cliniiiiiiiiic!

He drilled and picked and [bleeped] my tooth
and [bleeped] and [bleeped] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
then he [bleeping] [bleeped] his [bleep]
[bleeping] International Cliniiiiiiiic

Two short minutes and he was done
I stood up, drooled, and prepared to run
But being me, I need my fun
Funny International Cliniiiiiiiiic

"Doc" I said as I shook my chills
"You're as good as my rhyming skills.
Machine thingie was filled with thrills!"
Flattering International Cliniiiiiiiiiiiic

He looked at me with confused eyes
I continued on with my string of lies
"The pain was short and-

Doc:  Um, why did you want the anesthetic?  You didn't need it.

.....

.....dum-de-dum-de

What the hell, was he on grass?
I felt the need to kick his-

Doc:  You didn't need the anesthetic needle.  It was just a small cavity.

[Music falling, instruments messing up and stopping]

Me:  What ... what do you mean?

Doc:  I could have done it without the machine's needle if I went slow.

Me:  What?!  Then ...then why did you inject me and make me go through that pain?

Doc:  Uh, well.

Me:  Weeell?

Doc:  Um ...because you told me to.

.......

[People inside building stare at camera]

.......

[People of the Avenues stare]

.......

[Lemur stares]

.......

.......

[Chorus finale]
SCREW YOU INTERNATIONAL CLINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!

[BADUM BAAAAM!]