Bojacob's Den

Where could I ever find those freakin’ chinese cats?  Especially the one that waves for you.  All I seem to find are the stationary ones.

Ah, there’s a shop, but I was approached by two girls, no older than 13.

Girl 1:  Excuse me, do you know where the exit is?

I can’t even find my way home in Kuwait.  Kuala Lumpur?  I can’t find my way to the bathroom.

Me:  I’m sorry.  I have no idea where I am myself.

Girl 1:  Ok, thank you.Chinese Lucky Cat

And they proceeded to argue with each other.  I was surprised at how gutsy they were at this age.  Their heads could only reach up to my elbow, but then again, I’m pretty damn tall in the first place.

I turned to the gift shop and went back to my mission.  I found the shopkeeper, an elderly Chinese-looking woman.

Me:  Excuse me, do you have that cat .. thing?  Chinese cat?

Shopkeeper:  haaa?

Me:  The chinese cat.  It’s a cat that holds its hands like this?

I held my hand up and rolled it into a paw.  All I got back was a blank look.

Me:  Cat!  Cat, you know cat?  Cat!  Meow!  Meowww?  *meows*

I felt just a little ridiculous.

Shopkeeper:  Ahhhh!

Me:  Yes, finally!  Do you have it?

She set off and rummaged through a basket, then produced a stuffed ugly cat.

Me:  No no, see it’s Chinese cat thing-  graaar how do I explain this?!

Girl 1:  Need help?

I looked around for the squeaky voice.

Girl 1:  Down here.

Me:  Oh, heh, sorry.  Well yeah, I’m looking for the Chinese cat thing with its paw like this?

Girl 2:  Ahh!  Yes I know it.

Me:  Oh thank you lord!

The girl only spoke one word to the shopkeeper, and suddenly the shopkeeper’s eyes lit up.

Shopkeeper:  Ahhhh!! hahahaa

She laughed hard and gave my arm a sharp slap.

Me:  Yes!  Yes… ow.. ok.

The two girls had giggle fits at my expense.  Ah well, small price to pay to get the damned thing.  I don’t even know why I wanted it anymore.  The old lady dug into her large basket once more.  She could pull anything out of the damn basket.

Shopkeeper:  Ahhh ha!

She pulled out a clay cat with the paw raised.  Yup, that was it, but it doesn’t look like the arm moved.

Me:  Ahhh, very nice, but-

Shopkeeper:  Fu

Me:  ‘Scuse me?

Shopkeeper:  Fu.  Fu.

Me:  Um, that doesn’t sound very nice? 

Girl 2:  What?

Girl 1:  Ohhh, I think she means luck!

Me:  Oh the cat.  Heh well, I need the one with the moving arm.

Girl 1:  Ahh, I see.

Me:  Yes, um, ma’am?  You see, I need the hand to move like this?

I moved my “paw” back and forth.  Once again, she gave me a blank look.  The girls proceeded to giggle again.  I could just step on those little twerps if they weren’t helping me.

Me:  Like this?  No?  Back, forth, back, forth?  My arm is getting tired here.

Finally, one of them mercifully stepped in to my rescue.  Once again, she uttered a single word.  Instead of her eyes lighting up however, her features darkened and she gave me a stern look.  She turned to the girl and spoke to her, then put the cat away in the basket.

Girl 1:  She doesn’t like the mechanical cats.

Me:  Um, wow.  I noticed.  I knew eyes could speak, but the damn things yelled at me!

The joke flew over her head.  Good thing too.  That one ranked 0 on the laugh-o-meter.

Me:  So uh, why not?  I’d buy one if she had any.  Is it because they run out of battery quick?

The girl asked the lady.

Me:  Or maybe perhaps it breaks down too easily.  Hm, that’s possible.

The shopkeeper spoke back to the girls.

Me:  Oh, oh, I see!  She’s out of stock!  Right?

Girl 2:  She says they’re fake.  They don’t bring you luck.

Me:  Do what?

Girl 2:  They don’t have enough spirit power.  They won’t bring you luck.

Me:  …..what?

Girl 1:  The cats, they bring luck.

Those who know me pretty much know I’m a huge skeptic.  I looked incredulously at the tiny girls.  They only shrugged back at me.

Me:  I’m actually really down on luck lately.  So you’re saying it’s because of all the mechanical stuff I have?  I mean I have hard disks, fans, keyboards, french maids.

Girl 1:  What?

Me:  French fries.

Girl 1:  Oh.

Damn, she actually caught that?  Youngsters these days…

Girl 2:  You’re hungry too?

At least one of them is oblivious.

Me:  … uh .. well, yes actually.. but the..

Why am I explaining myself to 13 year olds?

Me:  Oookay.  Well then, I think we best be out of here don’t you think?

The shopkeeper’s eyes followed me out.  I stared back and lifted my paw up, opening up my hand so that my fingers looked like claws. 

Me:  Meowrrrr, rarrrrwrrrwrrr.dd

I mimicked an attack, making ridiculous sounds once more as I walked out.  My head promptly banged on the head of the door, creating a lovely welt on my forehead.  I shut up, walked out, swallowed my pride, and tried my best to ignore the stifled giggles of those two hobbits, along with the roaring laughter of the shopkeeper. 

Did those damn cats really work?  Or is that what I get for being an ass? :(

Ah well, memories :)  That’s the best part.  I actually stuck around with those two kids and have some more stories, but that’s for the next post!

All in all, I’m really loving my vacation here.  Why in the world do people go to Europe when Kuala Lumpur beats the pants out of any European city I’ve seen?  This is one of the very few vacations I’ve enjoyed.  I’ll explain why in my review post :)

UPDATE: Kevin Riley mentioned in the comments that it’s actually a Japanese cat.  I’m sorry for any offended cats.  I could just see the LOLcats brigade hacking this site…