You know, life has its ways of telling you that if things are bad, it can make it worse with a snap of a finger.

I woke up at 7am, remembering I needed to go to the cemetery at 9.  I excused myself from work and decided to dress up correctly.  It's been a while since I wore the traditional Kuwaiti garments.  I hoped the maid knew how to iron a qetra.

I passed time by daydreaming.  I'm not even sure what I was daydreaming about, but I remember smiling the whole way.  It was 8:20, so I believed it was time to get ready.  I wore the qetra, and thought it looked a bit weird with all that starch.  I asked her to iron a new one.  What's a 5 minute delay?

Once that was over, I looked in the mirror and evaluated my appearance.  The amount of jokes I could have come up with were endless.  Something along the lines of "don't let the qetra get caught in the ceiling fan."  After 5 minutes of senseless joke making and unusual laughter, I decided that I better go.

I got in the car, and naturally, my head hit the top of the door, sending my egaal sprawling on the floor.  I picked up the infernal thing and took another 3 minutes adjusting my appearance, trying not to look too ridiculous.  Once that was over, I broke my Audi into a gallop and rode for the cemetery.

Traffic was beastly.  The 4th ring road was completely blocked up, so I thought I'd just take the 5th instead.  I had my trusty GPS with me incase I lost my way and headed to Antarctica by mistake, which happens daily anyway.  I managed to enter the 5th ring road, and drove onwards.  The slowpokes in the middle and right lanes began to aggravate me with their annoying braking, thus I decided to take the left lane, as it seemed to be moving quite well.  Not for long though.  Traffic came to a halt.  Cars weren't moving, such is my luck.  I sighed and stopped, hoping I won't be late. 

Something caught my eye in my rear-view mirror.  It was a car, going quite fast.  So fast that I think it has to hit the brakes, like now.  It didn't.

A sense of urgency shot up.  I had to do something to get out of the way, but I didn't have time.  I had to do something.  I hit the car horn, a feeble attempt that did nothing.  I saw the driver, just now realizing what was going on, and what's about to happen.  I saw her mouth open wide in pure terror, probably screaming, as did her car scream when she hit the breaks full on.  It was far, far too late.

Her car slammed into mine with the loudest of cracks.  My vision flashed white as I believe the back of my head hit the seat's headrest.  I was disoriented, unsure of what had happened, while my ears were still ringing from the sound of the impact.

I started regaining my wits and moved my car to the emergency lane.  I wondered how bad it was and if the lady was ok, so I looked into the rearview mirror to adjust my qetra.  However, there was no qetra, no egaal.  Just my white gahfeya sitting on my head.  The things flew off, so I took the damn gahfeya off and got out of the car.

The front of her Mercedes 1997 car was pretty much destroyed.  Her radiator blown and leaking water all over.  I guess this rated as a pretty bad accident, and my car was probably messed up as well.  Still, I hoped the lady was ok, who also seemed to have a boy with her as well.

As I passed my car, I took a look and it wasn't as bad as I thought at all.  At least, not as bad as her car was.  Here's a pic of it now.

Not bad.

I looked again at the lady, and I was surprised to actually find a police jeep there, with two cops jumping out.  I walked over to her.

Me:  Are you all-

Lady:  I.. I don't-  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry!

Her voice quaked with fear.  She seemed on the verge of crying, and maybe she was, but her sunglasses covered up everything including her cheek.

Me:  It's fine, it's fine.  Relax.  Are you ok?   Hurt?

Lady:  I'm so sorry!  My son told me about-  I'm sorry!

It didn't look like a good time to talk at all.  Even if it was, the two cops being unusually hyper started pushing the car to get it to the emergency lane.

Policeman 1:  PUSH!!

Policeman 2:  COME PUSH!!  TELL HER TO TURN LEFT!!

Me:  Turn left, ok?

But the window was closed.  Jeez.

Policeman 1:  PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!!!!

Me:  All right, all right!

I got behind the car and pushed along with them.  The lady didn't understand what was going on.

Policeman 2:  LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFT!

The cop was pointing frantically to the left.  She turned the wheel all the way and we pushed until the car hit the 9abba, the short wall dividing the two roads. 

Policeman 1:  WHAT ARE YOU DOIIIIIIIING!!

The lady looked mortified.  If this was a bad day for me, I think she's having one that's a lot worse.

Policeman 2:  Ok listen, we're not responsible for traffic, but we called the guys responsible and they'll come help you with this.

Me:  All right, so we just wait?

Policeman 2:  Just wait.

And so they left.  I've done this waiting game before, and it was never fun.  I wondered if she was doing better and looked over to her car.  She was on the phone, most likely talking to her husband to save her from all of this.

Whatever argument they might have had in the past, I think the hubby has a damn good chance of making things up now :)  He can thank me later.

The story goes on, but I wrote too much already.  I want to write the second part where Starsky and Hutch (two cops) try to help us.  It was pretty hilarious.

I made many choices this morning.  They are bold in the paragraphs above.  This chain of decisions led up to this fate.  Funny how if even one of the bolded statements above was removed from the equation, this never would have happened.  Qaddar allah wa ma shaa'a fa3al.  Today, it's just written that it ain't my day.

Ah well, law of averages states that I'm supposed to get into at least one accident per year.  I just got mine, I should be good now for another year!  Hoho!

Dentist:  Hmph.

Me:  Sigh, so how screwed am I?

Dentist:  Big problem.

Me:  You know, that makes me feel so nice and fuzzy inside...

*silence*

Me:  It was a joke.  Look, never mind.  I just really really hate the injection.  Go easy all right?

He rubs my gums with some fruity stuff that tasted good, but also made my mouth and throat go numb when I swallowed it.  He then immediately took the needle and aimed for my mouth.

Me:  Whoa, wait!  Won't you wait until this takes effect?  Come on doc, haha, give it a little time!  This takes a bit for it to spread and numb the gums and stuff.  Even though my throat is kinda too numb now that it's getting hard to breathe.  Still, I feel it spreading its ... its ..numbificationer, or whatever.  Hey, wait stop!  Even Gandhi needed time from his dentist!  If he had one that is.  Hehe, that's a good one.  What?  It's a joke :)  Get it?

Dentist: ...

Me: Ok [bleep] it, gimme all you got.

He smiled his toothy smile, as if to show them off and say "nya nya, I don't have any root canaaals!"  He approached my mouth with the injection aimed and ready.

[Skip the gruesome scene]

Me:  *groan*

I reach for the cup of water with a fizzling pill inside, feeling very violated.  I could sue this guy for the sole reason of being a dentist.  I never even understood why there was a pill in that damn cup anyway?  It's not like it's hiding all the blood I'm drooling out.  My lips couldn't contain the water in my mouth, and so my new Armani Exchange shirt now looks like something out of a crime scene.  Looks pretty cool, actually!

Me:  Hey .. thok .. thok why iv there a fill im vuh..

Dentist:  Hm?

Me:  vuck it, neva minv

I decided to just keep my mouth shut.  What good it'll do to talk anyway?  Ain't like the guy had any sense of humor.  I looked into my pockets to check my mail from the iPhone and try to distract myself from the pounding gum.  Then I wondered, why don't I just listen to a podcast while he works?  I'm sure a little TWiT would do me good!

Me:  thok,  Can I liffen to thtuff while you wo .. wok .. wok....

Dentist:  ...

Me:  I affked you a quethsh .. queff ..

I couldn't even understand myself.  It was like I was injected with a cow tranquilizer, if such a thing exists.  Was he insinuating that I was a cow?!  wtf, well then, I say he's a donkey.  That thought alone brought me some measure of comfort.  Didn't last long however, the man flashed his knives and drills in such an evil way that I could swear I was in a horror movie with a 94% on rotten tomatoes.

I decided to just friggin put my headphones on and lay back, listening to good ol' Leo and dvorak.org/blog.  The doctor opened my mouth and started his ritual:  Preparing my mouth as a sacrificial offering for his evil dentist gods.

It was pretty damn painful, as root canals go, but this whole podcast listening was actually helpful.  As always, all good things come to an end.  In my case, a brutal end.

Leo:  So it's people who hate me?!

Dvorak:  Maybe it's all those pyjamas for all you know.

Leo wasn't happy that his interview was buried on Digg.  They were trying to figure out why. 

The doctor opened my mouth a bit wider.  There was that drill, a mirror, and a vacuum sucking thingie all in there at the same time.  I tried not to think about it.

Leo:  No no, I was wearing a smoking jacket and a smoking pipe.  I thought I was quite distinguished looking, actually.

Dvorak:  Maybe that's the reason it was banned.

Me:  hahaHA... GAARG!! 

I sat up, choking.

Me:  COUGH, COUGH, HAAAACK!!  Cough coughhhh.....

Dentist:  Relax!!!  What are you laughing about?!

Me:  coughhh, it .. cough.  He made ..*cough* .. a jhhhoke... joke.

Now that I remember, it wasn't all that funny either.

The dentist stared at me.  Was I an unusual case?  Hm.  Anyhow, I laid back down again.  I swallowed and tried to comprehend the irony of choking on my own tooth.

Dentist:  Stay still.  Please.

At least he said please.  He continued working on my mouth as I kept still.  Hmph, bossy dentists.  Who does he think he is anyway?  I'm the one in charge here.  I bet this evil minion is wearing boxers with love hearts printed on them.  Hah!

I smiled.  I wondered how silly he'd look if I put a Superman cape on him.  Haahaaahaaaha-

Dentist:  This might hurt a little.

Me:  Gurgle?

A sharp jolt shot through my jaw.  My head snapped back at the sudden pain.  A clear reminder that this heart-boxer-wearing-superman-cape-wrapping dentist was still boss around here. 

Ass.

I realize this post is turning out to be quite long, so I'll cut it short:  WHOLE THING HURT!  Why, oh why do I wait until cavities reach my nerve?  The amount of pain isn't worth it, at all!   I couldn't leave the room without some amount of payback.  I stood up after he was done, feeling dull throbs in my jaw.

Me:  vank u voctor.

I stuck my hand out to shake his hand.  I'll just squeeze his hand so hard and unleash all this pain upon him!

Dentist:  Hmph.

He shook my hand.  I grinned and started to squeeze, but suddenly felt searing pain shooting up my wrist, forcing my grip to loosen.  I forgot my wrist was in pain because of all the crazy, intense drumming I did on Rock Band.  I let his hand go, gritting my teeth and forcing a smile.  Maybe I should just slap the insufferable bastard.  Knowing my luck though, I'd probably break my hand as it hit his thick head blessed by some dentist god with three heads and three testicles.

I walked out of the room holding my jaw, glad it's all over.  As I walked out, I saw a guy from work, sitting.  Lord, no...

Wael:  Bojacob!

Me:  wawewrr!

Wael:  ?

Me:  waawweerr!!

Wael:  Um, salamat!  What are you doing here?

I really couldn't talk.  I just shrugged and looked at him with sad eyes and droopy right lips.  Was I drooling?  I couldn't tell.  I couldn't feel.

Wael:  Ma tshoof shar.  I'll see you tomorrow then?

At least he was understanding.  I smiled (I think,) and moved to walk out of the clinic.

Wael:  Bojacob?

Me:  wbhuhh?

He pointed at his lip.

Wael:  Um, there's something on your lip there.

I knew it.  I walked to a mirror and saw my fat lip, along with blood seeping from the side of my mouth.  I looked like I walked out of a boxing match, which was pretty cool!  I kept the look and hurried home so I could get some sympathy from mom.  I know she hides that incredible chocolate somewhere, and I'll be damned if I don't get any today!

Get your teeth done boys n girls :(  Root canals aren't fun, at all.  I've got 9 teeth to fix before they reach the point of no return.  I'm trying to find the courage and a good doctor.  Recommendations are welcome!  (private, public, expensive, I don't care.)

3eedkom imbarak :)  And if it’s not Eid for you today, then 3eedkom imbarak bacher!

The amount of sophistication in kids now is quite mind boggling.  One of the kids had a notepad and the names of all us uncles, with a little checkbox next to each one.  The little freak was friggin doing accounting or something.  Jeez, whatever happened to being pleasantly surprised?

I sneaked behind the kid and tapped his shoulder.  He looked at me and feigned surprise as I pulled out my wallet.

“I shouldn’t be doing this, you’ve been annoying your parents lately haven’t you?”  I said, hesitating.

“I’m very sorry.  I kissed each parent’s head today.”  He said.  Of course, when would be a better day to kiss their heads?

“Here you go.  3eedik imbarak!”  I gave him a nice round 10kd with a smile.  He took it from my hand, smiled back at me and checked a little box next to my name. 

“Just make sure not t… Hello?  Kid?”  I realized that my words were falling on deaf ears.  I stopped myself when I saw him not paying attention anymore.  He sat back in his chair and eyed the other uncles.  He was done with me.

I hope you’ll remember that Eid al Ath7a is a few months away you little bastard!  I’ve got you in my crosshairs!  I was gonna do some Eid cuts anyway since the economy is dying!  I’m sure the US can use my 10kd in their $700 billion rejected bailout!  Or you know what?  I’ll buy a PS3 game with that 10kd!  Ok sure, I need to add a few more KD to get the game, but I’ll make sure it’s your favorite game and you won’t play it!  In fact, I’ll play it right in front of your face and make sure to put a checkmark next to your name, which, by the way, is now mysteriously spelled “donkey.”

Grr..

frikkin kids.

Still, gotta love em :)

PS:  Never “try” something with your shaver a day before Eid.

Update:  Just added the caller-id fix as well to the repository, so you can add that if you don’t see the contact name when someone calls you.

Disclaimer:  This will add +965 and the new digit to all Kuwaiti numbers that it sees.  This should be a safe process, but If your iPhone eats your numbers, I’m not responsible!  The whole process is detailed below.  To be really safe, go get Funambol from the app store and back up your numbers online.

Add this repository to Cydia: http://iphone.bojacob.net

Once that’s done, you’ll find a new section called Kuwait Number Conversion or something, I forgot what I called it.

You’ll find a package by name of 8digit there.  Install it, and it should convert all the numbers currently on your iPhone.

Grats!  You should be all converted now.  Keep in mind that some numbers are cached, so you may need an iPhone restart to see the changes, but usually it’ll work right off the bat.

Something bad happened?  Just remove the package and it should revert to a backup copy of your address book.  Do NOT hit Reinstall.

These are the queries:

UPDATE ABMultiValue SET value = Replace(value, “+965”, “”);

UPDATE ABMultiValue SET value = “+9656” || value WHERE (substr(value,0,2) IN (“51”,”58”,”59”) OR value LIKE “6%” OR substr(value,0,3) IN (“700”, “701”, “703”, “704”, “705”, “706”, “707”, “708”, “709”, “770”, “771”, “772”, “773”, “774”, “775”, “776”, “778”, “779”, “501”, “502”, “505”, “506”, “507”, “508”, “509”));

UPDATE ABMultiValue SET value = “+9659” || value WHERE (value LIKE “9%” OR value LIKE “44%” OR substr(value,0,2) IN (“71”, “72”, “73”, “74”, “75”, “76”, “78”, “79”) OR substr(value,0,3) = “702”);

Hello :)  Mbarak 3alekom il shahar.  I’m awake at 7 AM when work starts at 9:30 AM.  It’s blasphemous to wake up 2.5 hours before work.  Hell, it’s blasphemous to wake up 30 minutes before work!  Therefore, I am in a state of blasphemy right now.  I’m also hungry.

Much love revolves around this holy month.  If its holiness does not get to you, then I’m sure the reduced work time will.  I only got 2.5 hours shaved off though, which gives me 5 hours 30 minute workdays.  Friggin’ private sector :/  I’m also hungry.

You don’t work?  Well th

BUT!  What if the instructor was actually entertaining?  And here starts the story of my “Enterprise Microsoft Project” class.

Instructor:  Hello everyone.  I am here to train you for your newly installed Project server.

His accent hinted that he was Egyptian.

Process has been quite annoying with the whole domain transfer and stuffs, but I think everything is sorted.  If the page looks white to you, then you need to shift+reload the page to get the correct CSS files.

I leave you with a picture of my little nephew that has been getting increasingly annoying as of late.  (Photoshopped by his dad.)

fhaid

99.584% of my trips were with my family (namely my beloved mother.)  It's a welcome breath of fresh air to travel with similar-aged friends that don't feel the need to visit every clothing shop in the continent.  Will this shape up to be the trip of the century?  Will my trip-mates corrupt my geeky-innocent mind and guide me to the dark side of fun-making?  Is it me that's going to corrupt the guys?  Will we all be corrupted by the very nature of the place?  Only time will tell!

I have packed plenty of underwear.  I don't know why, but I have the strange feeling that I'm going to need them.  Maybe wear two at a time, or perhaps throw them out a window for the waiting audience below?  I don't know.

What I do know is that I need sleep, like right now.  The plane flies at 12am midnight, but damn I'm too excited to nap!  Therefore, I will pack more underwear.

Well, that's as much silliness as I can muster :)  I'm hoping to be off the net when I'm there, so you must forgive my insolence if I don't reply to comments.  I'll be too busy trying to have fun (or sharing my underwear.)

Farewell my friends.  May the n3al stay out of everyone's underwear.  Especially mine.

I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into.  From all those podcasts I'm listening to, they all seem to swear by Twitter, calling it one incredibly addictive piece of software.  Some even went as far as calling it a killer app.  How can this be?  That's just nuts.

I've said the same thing about blogging.  I just got into blogging because it's the whole new fad and it has a chance of making me popular with the other gender.  While the latter statement has failed more miserably than my book of pickup lines, I still stuck with blogging for almost three years now, and I'm addicted!

Enter Twitter.  I just want to see what the fuss is about.  My twitter username thingie is Bojacob if you want to follow my random tweeting.  I'll also have a spot on my sidebar for all the update thingamajigs.

One thing I'm worrying about is ForzaQ8.  I can just see this coming:  "WHY were you sitting at home watching anime?!  Come to the dowania!"

Alla yaster

Bonehead:

Spikebutt

And n3al:

Disturbing indeed...

Come 11th of July, I will buy the new iPhone so fast that the iPhone will friggin arrive before I can say pulchritudinous!  Of course, that's if Apple don't turn into asses about the whole "buying from Apple store" thing.  Hell, I'll go to the US!  Oh wait, I got some friends there!  Falantan!  You're up!  Please look for the safety of the iPhone.  Sure, you're a dear friend :) and I'll be VERY happy when you're back (with the iPhone.)  If there's no iPhone in the equation, then I'll see you at work.

*COUGHFALANTANIPHONECOUGH* Well I'd say that wraps up my pointless post!  It's just that I had to vent my excitement somewhere, and also voice my *COUGHFALANTANIPHONECOUGH* .. *cough*.  Wow, must be the dusty weather.

And of course, if there's anything you'd like to say to me, please e-mail me at falantan@getaniphoneforme.com.  If that doesn't work, then please e-mail me at buymeaniphone@falantan.info.

If you'd like to call, I'm at 1-800-FALANIPHONE.  Actually, just call my secretary.  I believe her name was Ifalanphonetan.

Oh .. oh lord there's a sneeze coming.. a big one..   *SNEEEFALANTANBUYMEANIPHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZEEEEEEEEEE*

Case in point, I have a number of 1080p MKV files that are dying to be played on my Samsung 1080p LCD TV.  While I achieved my goal by playing them through my Macbook Pro, I sadly couldn't get Dolby Digital audio 'cause my optical out in the Macbook seems to be dead, therefore I can only get stereo on a friggin 1080p movie.  That very much sucks when you have 5 huge speakers in your room, and only 2 of them work.

There's nothing close to the the 1080p LCD that can play these MKV files.  The Xbox360 & PS3 both need the MKV to be re-encoded into something they understand, and that takes AGES!  My hacked Apple TV starts pooping capacitors when I try to play a 1080p MKV, so that's also a no-go.  It seems like it's time to add a new member to the family.

I weighed my choices.  I read about the TViX HD player, the Popcorn Hour, and some other stuff I don't remember.  They're able to play 1080p MKVs, but there's always those "gotchas."  Sometimes high 5.1 profile doesn't work, and I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't work.  Sometimes there's subtitle issues with .ass files (hey that's what they're called.)  It just seems to be hit and miss.  I'm tired of troubleshooting.  I just want to watch the damn movie.

I decided to go the HTPC way (Home Theater PC.)  I researched the net for the sweetest and cheapest custom built HTPC, and here's what I came up with:

Motherboard: GA-MA78GM-S2H
Processor: 5600+ AM2 Processor  (Overkill I'd say, really)
Case: Antec Minuet350

2gb ram, power supply, some crappy disk (movies are stored on a NAS) blah blah boring details.  Audio card and Video card are integrated into the motherboard.  Oh, oh I know what you're saying:  integrated video cards suck!  Well, not this one.  It's an ATI3200, and from what I've been hearing it kicks butt!

It was time.  I want this thing.  Bad.  The only problem was Hawalli, which still seems to live in 2005 in terms of technological advancement in gadgetry:

---

Me:  Hello, do you have a Gigabyte motherboard with the new chipset?  It supports AMD.

Salesman:  No.  Intel only.

Me:  Hm?  Did AMD go out of business or something?  (laugh)

Salesman:  Hehehe

---

Me:  Hello, do you have a Gigabyte motherboard that supports AMD processors?

Salesman:  No.

Me:  Nothing AMD whatsoever?

Salesman:  No.

Me:  Hm?  Did AMD go out of business or something?  (laugh)

*silence*

Me:  Heh, it was a joke.  Y'know?  Okay, I'll be on my way...

---

Me:  Hello, do you have any motherboard that supports AM-

Salesman:  No.  Only Intel.

Me:  Hm?  Did AMD go out of business or something?  (laugh)

Salesman:  Yes.

Me:  Oh.  What... really?

Salesman:  It was on the news.

Me:  What news?!

Salesman:  Egyptian newspaper.

Me:  Heh, yeah that's very credible.  Heh, heh .. heh ..  Get it?

*silence*

Me:  Heh, it was a joke.  Y'know?  For laughing?  No?  Okay, I'll be on my way... I'm really sorry... I'm leaving now... really..

---

Me:  Hello.  AMD?

Salesman:  None.

Me:  Hm?  Did AMD go out of business or something?  (laugh)

Salesman:  You just came here and said the same joke.

Me:  Oh!  ...oops.  Haha, how embarassing.  Hehe .. heh.  Okay, I'll be on my w-

Salesman:  Heard that part too.

Me:  Did you hear the best part?

Salesman:  Best part...?

Me:  [bleep] you!

---

In the end, I couldn't get anywhere.  Once again I am faced with the dilemma of ordering a lot of stuff from the US.  That part is always such a pain in the butt :(

Well, if anyone has any other way of successfully playing 1080p + digital audio + silent case + not way too expensive + not too quirky + compact, then I'm all ears.

For now, I'll just live with watching 1080p movies in stereo. 

I thank the gracious intlxpatr for my first tag.  Can't believe it took this long!

<tag>

The Rules:
Link the person(s) who tagged you.
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

1-  I have to hit the Snooze button 4 or 5 times before I believe it's time to go to work, which is why I'm chronically late.  This has been fixed however since I got a new alarm clock that could freakin' wake someone under comatose.

2-  Since I have many small gadgets, I tell the maids never to move anything from my table, desk, drawers, or floor.  It's not that I'm neat or anything, quite the opposite.  It's just that I can follow my thought patterns and find my lost item easily.  "Hmm, now if I had a Continuum Transfunctioner in my hand, where would I leave it?  Oh, I'd probably be charging it through the USB!"  And sure enough...

3-  If there is a new piece of hardware out that's about 5 times better than mine, I try hard to "accidentally" fry the one I currently have.  It's so I have an excuse to get the new one!  I usually fail though :(

4-  I keep installing Firefox on other people's PCs.  Come on, it's better!

5-  When I find something cool to buy, I start doing plenty of research on Google to find the best vendor of that gadget.  Once that's determined, I go to Hawalli and NEVER find that item with the best vendor, and thus end up buying from the crappy vendor for twice the price due to my impatience.  I think I've learned to curb this one now...

6-  If I need to think up a post, come up with a tune, or do any creativity work in general, I tend to walk in circles in a large, dimly lit room with lots of space for me to get imaginative.  Sometimes for 1-2 hours, which is terrible for my weight gain plan!

And that's it.  I somehow feel like I've lost something ... virginity or something...

In any case, I graciously tag the following gracious people.

1. The sagacious ForzaQ8
2. The puissant Q8i
3. The raging SnakeAM
4. The pulchritudinous Swair
5. The wicked Zabo0o6a
6. The mirthful Outkasty

</tag>

It was apparent that I wasn't as good as I thought, at all. Friends had scores 3-4 times higher than mine despite my bravest efforts. I never knew words such as ere, tam, ani, velor, louver, mil, curio, curios, uric. I've never seen them before in my life! Are those even English?!

Swair, being the English teacher that she is, ripped us apart with her English skills and made us look like students again. Chika, bless her heart, did it the old fashioned way. Her score rose day by day as she learned those new words, until she beat me soundly. Both earn respect with their impressive feats!

Geeks? Well, while us geeks may not be the masters of the English language, we have the ability to speak an entirely different language. A language that is only understood in geeky circles.

We speak Computer.

Yup, and we can boss it around, telling it what to do. We demand it speaks back to us or it's gonna end up in the scrap yard and replaced by a new, faster one!

Basically, what I'm saying is I spoke to the computer. This is what I said:

[perl]

#!/usr/bin/perl

use Algorithm::Permute;

#get argument from user
$letters = $ARGV[0];

#Split the letters into an array
@set = split(//, $letters);

#open dictionary file
open(WORDLIST, "< /etc/dictionaries-common/words") || die $!;

my %wordlist;

#loop through each line in the file
while () {
my $line = $_;
chomp($line);
#just add words that are less than or equal to 6 characters.
if (length($line) <= 6 ) {
$wordlist{$line} = 1;
}
}

$i = 3;
while ($i <= 6) {

my $p = new Algorithm::Permute(\@set, $i);
while (@res = $p->next) {
my $word = join("", @res);
if ($wordlist{$word} == 1) {print $word."\n";}
}

$i++
}

[/perl]

Hmm, but what does the computer say? Very much, I assure you:

For any beatings, please beat G instead.